The Cat
by NightcatMau
Summary: I wrote my littermate and first cat into the story to salute the two women who loved me enough to return from beyond the veil to encourage me. I don't actually think Skulduggery dislikes cats, but I doubt he's be thrilled with anything that would shed all over his suits. Two-shot, reposted at reader request. And what a great Mother's Day gift!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Lord Vile, or Valkyrie. There is Valduggery here, you'll just have to wait for it. Oh, Val when you at last meet her is about 20 here.

* * *

Skulduggery Pleasant was lead roughly into the cell, his hands bound in cuffs behind him. He was left bound, even though the gaol was the finest the magical world had to offer. While people were busy hating him and insulting him, a Tortoiseshell Persian she-cat slipped into the room, her green eyes taking the sight in. She leapt up on the seated former detective's lap, arching her back and hissing protectively. The gaolers laughed. For they knew if Skulduggery Pleasant hated one thing, it was cats.

"Looks like you got a little friend, skeleton." One jeered.

"Please get rid of the mangy beast." Skulduggery said, head bowed in defeat. They'd beaten him, and the cat could tell he was sore. Lightning quick she was off his lap somersaulting in the air over grasping hands and shouting men, and she hit the stone wall, claws out. Somehow she raced up the wall and shoved herself into a canny far above their heads.

A warning howl made the men reluctant to retrieve her. They left her there, yowling bitter defiance. As soon as they left she fell silent.

* * *

That night the cat crept out on whisper-quiet feet, but she knew he heard her. She came down to the bunk where he sat, not having moved an inch. He'd never fought back, never did anything. Somehow the room left him enough magic that he didn't fall to pieces, but he was still slated for execution in the morning. The cat gave a sad cry and leapt lightly to his shoulders. She butted her head into his repeatedly, patted her paws on his cheeks, wrapped her tail around his neck. She raced down and laid on the floor looking at him upside down, until finally he laughed softly.

"I don't like cats, Little Cat, but you're OK." He said. She sat of his lap and purred for hours, keeping vigil with him until the morning.

* * *

In the morning the Skeleton Detective's head came up as his door opened and they came in for him roughly. He didn't see the cat weave her way through a confused tangle of men's feet and out the door to freedom, but she did. The cat darted from shadow to shadow keeping ahead of the slowly moving group, making it to the execution ground ahead of time. Stupidly, they had wanted Skulduggery dead in the sun where those who hated him for the at long last revealed truth could see him die.

She crouched in the shadows and waited.

* * *

The procession came out at last, and Skulduggery was led, still cuffed, to the man who would be his executioner. If enough of his bones were crushed even Skulduggery would die, and the man's steely grip would turn him into powder, bone by bone.

The man raised his hand, intent on giving Skulduggery just a taste of the pain he'd feel by touching his jaw, and the cat exploded out of nowhere, howling in fury, launching herself right for the man's face, clawing and biting. She leapt straight up before he could grab her, and somersaulted over to Skulduggery, sailing past his shoulder, twisting in midair.

She brought herself down on his cuffs, jarring all her weight to one side, popping the skeletal hand loose. Skulduggery apparently knew enough to run as she grabbed the gloved hand in her jaws, and fled ahead of him tail plumed out in either fright or joy. She looked back to make certain he was following then piled on the speed. She led him on a merry chase as they escaped through a gap in the wall, running out among civilians and through back alleys, and all sorts of wonderful confusing ways that confounded their pursuers until they turned around a corner and there sat the Bentley.

Skulduggery got in, finding the keys in the ignition, putting the car into drive one-handed. The cat dropped his other hand at last as the Bently roared down the roads, and Skulduggery put it on with a painful grunt.

He looked over at the cat and held down his cuffed hand. "I don't suppose claws can spring locks, can they?" He asked. And because she was a rather magical cat, hers did. Skulduggery's magic flooded back in him and he sighed in evident pleasure. He looked over at the cat and spoke again. "I have no idea how you did it, but I know now that's you, Valkyrie Cain."

The cat purred loudly and puffed out her chest and he noticed a medallion on her long-furred chest, a curious green tear-shaped pendant. She cocked her head and he removed it, then turned his attention back to the road. The cat flipped herself on her hips to sit like a human in her seat as the transformation began. It only took and instant and Valkyrie Cain sat beside her partner.

She grinned over at Skulduggery and he shook his head in amazement. Remembering belatedly to reach under his collar and tap the symbols that brought down his facade.

"Seatbelt. Now do I get to ask why you risked certain death to help Lord Vile escape execution?" Skulduggery asked, exasperation in his voice.

"Because I'm in love with you, Skulduggery, and I couldn't think of a more subtle way for you to notice me."

His head flicked over to her in evident surprise, a small smile coming to his features, and he returned his gaze to the road reluctantly.

"You always were a strange young woman, still I compliment you on your taste in men. I don't know if you realize this, but I don't have a plan."

"Go to the docks, there will be a ferry waiting, drive on."

He did as she said, and there was a ferry waiting, and he drove on. He turned to her. "Not exactly, the fastest mode of escape from Ireland, Valkyrie."

She leaned forward and kissed him. "The owner of the ferry owes me a favour. There's a speedboat under a certain bridge, we escape in that. They can't chase us boldly in daylight, and they don't dare dress as civilian police and bring out planes and the like do they?"

"You clever girl!" He kissed her back and followed her to the waiting speedboat.

* * *

Years later they had settled in America under assumed names and Skulduggery at last asked her the question that had bothered him in all the years since they had escaped that day. "I think as your husband I can at last ask, where did you get that necklace from?"

"My mother was a witch, Skulduggery, and not the kind you're thinking of. Just because people aren't sorcerors doesn't mean they aren't magical." He smiled at his wife and was content after that to let sleeping cats lie.

* * *

**Note: This story is dedicated to my mom, an actual witch even though she never practiced who came to me in a dream tonight telling me not to give up on my writing, even though I felt my stories were failures. She suggested the storyline just like she used to, so thanks, mom! ****I wrote my littermate and first cat companion into the story to salute the two women who loved me enough to return from beyond the veil to encourage me. I don't actually think Skulduggery dislikes cats, but I doubt he's be thrilled with anything that would shed all over his suits.**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Tanith, Ghastly, Lord Vile, China, or Valkyrie. I'm calling telepathy linking here. This takes place about six months after the main action of Chapter One, so Val is almost 21, still holding on to 20.

* * *

The cat rode happily on the skeleton's shoulders as he sauntered through the flea market. The sun felt good on her warm fur, and she purred in pleasure, kneading her paws rhythmically into his shoulder, her claws sheathed. _You're enjoying yourself, aren't you? _He linked.

The cat butted her head against his facade-covered skull in adoration. _Of course I am. You're very warm and the sun is so nice, ohhh look, catnip toys! Can I have one?_

Skulduggery laughed softly, reaching up to stroke the cat's fur. _You do remember you are human, right? But yes, I'll get you one. It will make a good cover for our investigation if nothing else. _

The cat jumped down lithely, pranced over to the box, rearing up to put two paws on the rim. She reached in a deft paw and tossed a multi-coloured pompom to him, so doused in catnip she was practically drooling. _That one, please!_

Skulduggery laughed, paying the amused seller, his unfocused eyes taking in his surroundings. There was no suspicious activity here, but in America they had had to start all over again, hence following up a vague lead of "supernatural" activity. He waved the toy at the cat who weaved figure eights before him in delight, hopping about and dancing on her back paws, singing to him prettily. He grinned at her, leading her to an open area away from the sellers and tossed the toy.

The cat did an acrobatic leap for the toy, continuing up even as she snagged it with one claw, looking at him in delight. But her words in his head showed him she had the case firmly in mind. _We were followed. _

Skulduggery turned casually, resisting the automatic urge to grab his gun. Before him stood a woman in flowing black robes like a Necromancer, but she smiled and shook her head.

"Hello, daughter." She crouched down and called to the cat, who after a moment, ran to her and greeted her with purring adoration.

"I apologize for the disguise, but I can hardly wear my true form here." The cat was rolling in ecstacy now, and Skulduggery stared at her in disbelief.

_Stop that! _He linked.

_But this is Bastet, Skullduggery, I literally can't help myself. _She did manage to flip herself over at last however and trotted to Skulduggery, dropping the pompom she still held in her jaws in his waiting hand. _Sorry. _She leaned into him, and he picked her up, cradling her into his chest.

_I was afraid for you, you must remember people can hurt you when you're this small._ He soothed. _Go find an empty area and return to me in your normal form. _He set her down and she trotted off, soon disappearing into what seemed to be an empty tent, she emerged a short time later and walked back to him, a soft smile on her face.

Bastet smiled at the both. "My daughter can transform due to the gift of the necklace. All who become feline or are witches are my daughters. I've come to warn you my child, danger lurks here and neither of you are safe. Not even my powers can thwart what will happen."

"What will happen?" Skulduggery asked.

"That I cannot say. I only know it involves the element of fire. Something I am linked to, but that was a very long time ago. I am less the war goddess and more of the contented hearth cat now, I afraid."

"You aren't either. Gods and Goddesses don't exist." Skulduggery stated flatly. He turned to Valkyrie. "With all due respect to whatever you mother taught you, the woman before you is a clever witch at best, a charlatan at the worst." He turned to confront the woman who called herself Bastet again, but she was gone.

* * *

They were at lunch, and Valkyrie had questions for him. "If she wasn't Bastet how did I know her name, why would I react so strongly?"

"It was her magic, much like China's ability to make people love her. It worked on you because you were feline, and also because you wanted very much for it to be the real Bastet, which of course there isn't one. I've taught you before about Gods and Goddesses, Valkyrie, they aren't real. Depending on that woman would only get you hurt."

She sighed, consuming some of her burger before answering, making a mental note to train more before all the fast food she'd been consuming caught up with her. "You're right, of course. I even knew it. Well I guess we've met who is causing the disturbances. But she seemed so nice."

"China seemed nice too, we were good friends until I found out she helped murder my family."

"Point taken. Which reminds me, why wasn't Ghastly at your execution?"

"I can't imagine, and it is hardly something I can call the man and ask him about."

"Why not?" Asked a familiar voice. They both turned and froze, seeing Ghastly Bespoke. Tanith stood beside them and they smiled at the frozen detectives, but there was no malice in it.

"How did you find us?" Skulduggery asked dully, sounding as if he were sure he was about to be killed, Valkyrie along with him.

Ghastly and Tanith sat down, ordering burgers themselves. "Who do you two think helped keep your pursuers busy after your escape? We had to flee ourselves shortly after, and heard about you by chance when we reached America."

"But your mother-" Skulduggery began.

"Was a fool to face Lord Vile alone. I knew for a long time to be honest. Vile mirrored too many of your traits and fighting skills to be anyone else. I don't blame you for one second for how you reacted to loosing your family. But you came back to us, Skulduggery. You're like a brother to me, and you know that."

"You've known for that long?" Skulduggery breathed, speechless.

"Yes, and seeing the mercy you chose to show China confirmed what a good man you've become. You could have killed her that day, but you didn't, I know, partially for Valkyrie's sake."

Ghastly turned to smile at Valkyrie and her hunched shoulders relaxed at last. Tanith reached out a hand, squeezing her younger sister's hand. "Hey sis, pretty impressive with the cat magic. But that woman is bad news for sure. Remember I'm an Adept so trust me when I tell you anything you saw was all smoke and mirrors."

Valkyrie smiled at her friend, grateful to see that they all at least had each other in this strange New World.

* * *

**Hope you liked it!**


End file.
